Final Reflections

Some last thoughts on my 30-day challenge:

I weighed myself and took measurements this morning--I'm down 3.5lbs!  Pretty good considering I was back to starting weight around the halfway point.  I also lost 4" all over, 2" of which was just off my hips!  Vicki warned my that I might see an increase in the size of my ribcage, but I actually lost half an inch there.  Guess my lungs were already huge from a semi-regular practice...  I'm also down half an inch off my waist (just another half inch back to wedding size) and half an inch off each thigh.  No change in the size of my arms, but I can see every single muscle now.

I know these measurements probably don't seem like much, but I can definitely see a difference in my physical fitness.  Guys, I have muscles in places I didn't know girls could get them!  I have a clearly defined triceps, abdominals, and that weird little muscle right below your obliques.  You know the one I'm talking about?  I didn't before.  Things didn't get much smaller, but they got tighter for sure--firmer legs and a perkier tush.  I feel like all I need now is a base tan (ha!) and I'm ready to hit the beach!  Heck, if we didn't have leering neighbors, I would be tempted to walk around the house in my underwear all day just so I could check out my rockin' abs.  "Oh, hello muscles.  Where have you been all my life?"

And then there's the psychological element: I'm not sure if it's confidence, endorphins, flush from success, or just that exercise balanced my whackadoo hormones, but after 31 days of regular yoga, I am much more cheerful.  I sleep better and smile more.  I also have less wrist and knee pain.  These are very common sources of pain for a lot of people.  I work at a desk and am an avid knitter and after regular Bikram practice, especially Locust pose (it gets easier, I promise), I can knit much longer without wrist pain. 

Of course there's also the improvement in the Bikram postures. You saw my before and after pictures from yesterday.  I advanced in every single posture in the series--deeper, higher, more balanced, holding poses for longer.  Really, the photos speak for themselves.  With dedication and focus, anything is possible. 

I really could not be more excited with my results.  Even though I was initally bummed out that I weigh considerably more than I would like to, I now understand the benefit of being fitter and more muscular.  Muscle weighs more than fat, right?  It's not about the number on the scale, it's about how confident and beautiful and fit you feel.  And right now I feel like a movie star.  Watch out, Hubby. ;-)

Thank you Vicki for giving me the opportunity to expand my practice and to share my experience with Hart Yoga.  It's been such a pleasure and I can't wait to see what else I can do as my practice evolves.

Hope to see you all tomorrow and Hart Yoga's open house!  Free yoga at 10am and 12!

-Allie

Challenge: Complete

I did it!  I finished my challenge!  21 classes in 31 days!  I am amazing.

I was absolutely determined to go to class today.  My cold isn't 100% gone, but I was going to practice and let that sweet heat blast the germs out of me.  It did work--I feel so, so much better now, but I struggled in class today.  I felt like my body was strong enough to do the postures, but couldn't get enough air to sustain it.  I found myself gasping for air a few times and had to sit down for a bit after Triangle so that I could once again breathe through my nose.  Embarrassing, but necessary.

The spine strengthening series was especially tough because my lungs felt compressed lying on my stomach like that.  However, the spine strengthening series felt very liberating.  I had to fight a little nausea in Camel (this was my struggle pose today), but afterwards my lungs were wide open and I found I could breathe once more.  I just had to push through because now I feel fantastic, not only because I can breathe again, but also because I accomplished my goals.

Now how about some photographic evidence of how awesome I am?  Vicki and I stayed for a little while after class to take some "after" pictures.  I couldn't be more pleased!

Half Moon:

Check out that difference!  Granted, the former picture was on a Saturday and I was much tighter, but dang, my shoulders are stacked!

Back Bending:

I really wish we'd taken a "before" picture of this one because I thought I had been going farther back than this--at least it feels this way.  Still pretty cool...

Standing Forehead to Knee:

Look, look, look!! I'm doing it! OMG!!11!!one!!!1  :)

Standing Bow:

 I think it looks a little bit like I'm falling away from the camera in the second picture, but man, my leg is waaay the heck up there--rotating my hip a little helped immensely.  Next step will be to start sliding my arm down my shin and work on arching my torso back to get my leg a little straighter.



Standing Separate Leg Stretching:

Hello Hamstrings!  Every class I'm getting my legs closer than the one before!  I love the geometry of this posture.  It makes for such a pretty picture.

Floor Bow:

Okay, this is just awesome.  Yeah!

Seated Forward Fold:

Just in case you didn't believe me about those hamstrings...I feel like there's still room for improvement--I see a good deal of curving in my spine.  But what would be the point if there wasn't alway somewhere deeper to go?

Even though I've now completed the challenge, in no way does this mark a finish line for me.  I'm thrilled with the progress I've made and I'm eager to see where else I can take my practice in the future.  I will continue to practice at least a couple times a week, only building on this month's accomplishments.  I can't wait.

Measurements and Final Reflections tomorrow.

-Allie

Nevermind

I didn't go to class today. 

I really, really, really wanted to.  Honestly, it's killing me that I'm not completing my challenge as planned, but I think I'm finally coming down with Melody's bug.  I went home from work early to get some rest and try to head it off.  Even I have to admit that well being is more important than pride.

I felt much better after a big nap--I can almost breathe normally through my nose!--but I didn't want to push it.  So I'm going to do a gentle practice on my own at home, go to bed early, and sincerely hope I feel better tomorrow.  Because then I'll have the stamina for Wednesday and Thursday's classes.  I will be so disappointed if I had a strong practice for so long, but then fizzled right at the end. 

So sorry, Kate.  I'll definitely be there for Vicki's anniversary open house.

Breakthrough

Hey guess what? Focus works!  I had one of my best practices ever tonight and it's all because rather than setting physical goals like kicking up higher or balancing longer, I met my own gaze and kept my concentration on regulating inhale and exhale.  Everything felt better!  Half Moon, Standing Head to Knee, Standing Bow, all of it!

I feel like now that I'm towards the end of my challenge, I finally made a mental breakthrough.  If you empty your head of every thought but "inhale, exhale," there is no room for judgment or competition--a very physical meditaton.  Boy is that tough, though!  I caught my mind wandering a number of times and wobbly neighbors are not easy to ignore.  Like Vicki says, it really does take a lot of mental strength to help build your physical strength.  Now with this goal in mind, I foresee more improvement in my future.

Positive Posture: First Back Bend

I never cared for this one when I first started my practice, but it gets better and better each time.  My low back felt a little tweaky at the start of class today, but extending and shining forward through my chest kept me from just dumping into my low back and really getting a good stretch today.  I obviously can't see how far back I'm going myself, but I see more and more of the back wall.  I will definitely be taking some "after" pictures of this one.  Now that I've done all the spine strengthening and stretching today, my low back feels sort of "reset" and much, much better. 

Struggle Posture: Floor Bow
Okay, lame story: the biggest struggle I had today was that my hands were too sweaty and I had a hard time holding onto my feet.  Sorry, no whiny story for you tonight, just that I was so awesome and "glowing" that I couldn't effectively finish the posture. 

Now that I've completed 20 classes in 28 days, I really could quit and congratulate myself on a challenge well done, but being the silly overachiever that I am I'm going to go for the whole 31 days!  I will definitely attend Tueday night Vinyasa and Thursday night Bikram and am considering Wednesday's Bikram, too.  I've still got more yoga in me yet!

Vinyasa with Kate tomorrow night.

-Allie

Sunday Yin/Yang

No matter how I'm feeling--how tired, tight, or grumpy--I never feel inadequate or frustrated in a Yin/Yang class.  It's so much easier to accept my body's current state and ability.  Do I get fatigued in long warrior holds?  Absolutely.  Can I match Kate's deepest expression in every posture?  Of course not.  But the tone of the class is so gentle and joyful and linked to how your body is feeling right now, not where you would like it to be.  I do what I can, ensuring that I am working and feeling something, but without judging myself.

Perhaps it's because the postures are never the same and therfore it's much harder to quantify my progress or maybe because it's 11am on a Sunday and the judgment part of my brain hasn't woken up yet (I don't think that's it, if you recall yesterday's post).  I'll admit that I have a competitive streak and there are days when I want to push and tally results, mark the exact places where I have made progress.  I take comfort in revisiting the same postures over and over, building my practice cumulatively and soaking in the medical benefits of the prescribed yoga regimen.  Those are Bikram days.  There are other days when I want to just be, to move gently and to love my body as it is right now.  Those are Yin/Yang days--selfish, laid back Sundays. 

Positive Posture: Upward-Facing Dog

I've been working on that High-Low Pushup for a long time now and I don't think I ever really got it right.  I never could get the swoop into Updog to feel right and almost always went straight to the ground and did a Cobra instead.  This is how the Yin/Yang class has helped me--the slow pace made me reassess my form, adjusting where I needed it.  Today, for the first time ever, I flowed through High-Low Pushup and into Updog like it was no trouble at all.  I swooped away from the ground, opened my heart to the mirror, and breathed a deep, satisfying breath of victory. 

Struggle Posture: Pigeon

I learned something today--it's a bad thing when you lose feeling in your foot in pigeon. Apparently my hip joint is so compressed that I'm cutting off the blood supply to my foot.  Since I was so used to Bikram, I wasn't alarmed by this at first, but the Bikram compression postures are all less than a minute.  Turns out it's not a good thing to allow your feet to go numb.  In the interest of general health, I will be backing off this posture a little in the future.  I need to build more flexibility in my outer hip first so that I don't cause permanent damage to my feet.  Oops.


Have a lovely remainder of your Sunday!  Bikram tomorrow

-Allie

Morning Class

I have a confession to make: I am not a morning person. 

This may come as a huge shock to you (although if it does, you've probably never seen me in the morning), but it's true.  I've been in denial about his for years.  I really wish I could be one of those people wakes up limber and ready to go, but alas, I am not.  The idea of waking up to a productive, energizing practice and then having the rest of the day to relax is wonderful, but the practice is not so feasible.  I wake up cranky, with tight muscles and my nose and throat full of gunk.  Honestly, I'm lucky Hubby loves me because I must be some kind of unpleasant in the mornings. 

Anyway, the point is that I am finally admitting to myself that late afternoon/early evening practices work best for me and my body.  I've had time to move, loosen up, and dose myself with caffeine.  While I envy the early workout bird who can take her tight little tush for a run before dawn, I am not her.  After I complete my challenge, I will probably come to Sunday Yin/Yang because it's gentle on my sleepy body, but otherwise stick to the 5:30 classes.  I think it's important to know your body's internal schedule and to work with it to find energy and productivity, rather than work against it and find only frustration.

As you've probably guessed already, I did not have the best practice this morning.  My waist and hamstrings must have been conspiring with each other to defeat me and breathing was a bit of a challenge through my stuffy nose.  However, I did persevere, getting pretty close to my usual expressions--albeit with more effort--and didn't have to sit down once. 

Positive Pose: Standing Forehead to Knee
I am awesome, hear me roar!  This posture just gets better and better.  I estimate that I held my forehead on my knee for nearly 10 seconds on the right side today--way longer than I've ever held it before and probably long enough to take a picture if I can do it again on Thursday...  It was a little tougher on the left side, but just because that hamstring was tighter than the right.  I expect Monday's practice will be super-amazing.

Struggle Pose: Standing Bow

Like I said in an earlier post, this one and Standing Forehead to Knee seem to be inversely related.  Since I did sooo well in the previous posture, this one was a disaster.  My silly, silly hamstrings pulled back, preventing me from kicking up and effectively balancing.  Vicki suggests that I rotate my top hip back a little bit to help with the hamstring stretching.  I think I do this without realizing it when I get really deep into the posture, but then am so surprised that I fall.  Perhaps if I'm more conscious of where my hips are, I will have more success on Monday.

<--This kind of looks like I'm rotating my hip up, right?


I'm getting pretty tired of saying "next time I'll do better."  I've only got two more bikram "next times" left in my challenge. Monday's goal, rather than striving in specific postures, will be to keep my breath and my focus in line.  By refusing to let my mind wander, I predict that I will find the series much easier and have a wildly successful practice.  Wish me luck!

Yin/Yang with Kate tomorrow.

-Allie

One More Week

I started out well in today's class.  I got really, reeeeaaaally far into Half Moon and the first Back Bend, which was lovely because it usually takes me a while to warm up and those two postures normally hurt quite a bit. I pushed my hips out to the side and pulllled my arms up and over and felt only a deep stretch.  Unfortunately, it all went downhill from there. 

I must have been tired today--tired from lack of sleep and leftover muscle fatigue from Tuesday's class (which was amazing, but totally kicked my butt).  I wanted to strive, I wanted to improve, but just didn't have it in me today.  The worst offenders were my hip flexors and quads.  I had a lot of trouble locking my legs and kicking out during both the bow poses, which was so disappointing because I rarely have any trouble with Floor Bow.  My rockstar cred was somewhat diminished in today's practice.

Then after Eagle, I nearly choked on my water and my poor sad throat was sore for the rest of the class, which made breathing (and therefore concentrating) rather difficult.  I nearly fell on my face after Standing Separate Leg Stretching because I wasn't concentrating on locking out my legs and dumped weight into my head. Boo! Expert tip: Don't do that.  Keep pulling on your feet and refrain from putting any weight on your head, just graze the floor.  Good news, though--I brought my legs in a little bit closer and still got my head all the way to the floor.  There's always a bright side, right?

Positive Posture: Seated Stretching Posture

Like I said last time, my hamstrings are gradually loosening with regular practice, at least with forward folds.  They still need a lot of work with stretching away from each other, like in Standing Bow, but I am noticing less and less resistance with all of the Hands to Feet postures.  This one comes at the very end of practice, when everything is all warm and noodly.  I stretched and pulled and felt like I could almost graze my feet with my forehead.  I'm sure I actually did nothing of the kind, but after a frustrating practice, it was really nice to end on a more positive note, especially one with a delicious stretch to my legs and spine.

Struggle Pose:  Standing Balancing Forehead to Knee
Yuck.  That's all.

Okay, with the aforementioned muscle fatigue, neither the standing nor the kicking leg wanted to lock out for long.  I think I did get to the fullest expression of the posture, but only held it for about 0.5 seconds.  I think after another, more productive day of rest tomorrow, I should be ready to work on Saturday.

Now I'm warm and comfortable on the couch, with a purring kitty working the kinks out of my stomach (or would be if I had any).  Who couldn't love a face like that?  Even if it is in the sink.

I'll hit the sack early tonight, do some serious relaxing tomorrow, and look forward to better practices this weekend.

Until Saturday!

-Allie

Happy Day

Oh, the power of positive thinking.  I received some very, very good news shortly before class today--excellent news for my husband's career and for future planning!  So by the time I got to class, I was still beaming with positive energy.  I changed, laid out my yoga mat, and thought "Man, I look good in my yoga pants" (Okay, so I'm vain).  I was absolutely ready for a stellar practice.

Kate affirmed this when she was asking us to set an intention for today's practice, to acknowledge the day's events and to allow them to inform today's class.  I harnessed the positive energy bouncing around in my chest, broadened my smile, and applied that joy throughout each and every posture.

This isn't to say that I didn't struggle today.  We held the warrior poses for what felt like forever and I could feel my quads shaking, but rather than think "Ugh, are we done yet?" I thought about how much stronger this would make me, how happy I was to be in yoga class, and deepened my inhale breath.  Besides, how boring would yoga be if we were automatically perfect at everything?  Really boring.  I love that there's always something to strive for, some new adjustment to make, a new and different posture to master (but never actually master).  I am going to sleep like a baby tonight.

It's funny to think how negatively the snow affected my energy yesterday and how much better today's practice was after good news.  It really goes to show how much mood and energy can affect your practice.  I will have to make a habit of thinking good thoughts before hitting the yoga mat!

Positive Pose: Wheel

Through regular Bikram practice, I now have a pretty flexible spine.  Rocking the spine strengthening series took a lot of work and determination over the course of the last year, but I definitely noticed the difference today.  Bridge was fairly challenging, especially with tired quads, but Wheel was a treat.  I just pushed right up into my deepest expression and relished the release through my shoulders and the whole front side of my body.  Ahhhhh...


Struggle Pose: Side Plank

Normally, I feel pretty old hat in this posture.  I've been doing it regularly in Terry's class for a while, but today Kate asked us to do something pretty wild and crazy.  The theme of today's class was balance, so after doing Tree standing, she asked us to form tree in side plank, pressing our top feet against our bottom thigh.  I could NOT figure this one out--at least in the first set.  See how well I adapt to change?  I wobbled and fell a number of times--embarrassing.  However, I was not going to let one posture sour my whole practice.  I thought to myself "Don't over think it.  You can do this, Silly," and did it.  It wasn't nearly as hard as I was making it out to be--and it was actually easier to push my hips up higher with something tangible to push against. 

Thank you Kate for a lovely class.  And thank you Walker for being the source of my elation :)

Day of rest tomorrow and then Bikram again on Thursday.

-Allie

First Day of Spring

You know you live in New England when it snows on the first day of spring.  Delightful.  After Friday's unseasonably warm day, I was ready for spring and was bitterly disappointed when snow started to fall.  Every year, I know we'll have late snow and every year I hope we won't.  I was so distraught by the snowfall that I found myself distracted throughout the standing series.  My eye would wander over to the whitened windows and I would heave a sigh before beginning the next posture.  It was very disheartening.  Spring, please?

I struggled in the balancing series for other reasons, though.  My performances Standing Forehead to Knee and Standing Bow must be inversely proportional to each other because if I do well in the former, I do very badly in the latter.  That was the case today.  I was able to lock my leg out on both sides for the entire first set of Standing Forehead to Knee and got my forehead on my knee on both sides for a good couple of seconds.  So, naturally, I was falling all over the place in Standing Bow.  I think my main problem is that I'm still trying to get my leg up higher than our photo shoot, but in order to do that, I need to find some softness through my spine and, more troublingly, I need to slide my hand down from my ankle onto my shin.  I am over thinking this.  Thursday I need to just drop my story and do it!!

However, by the time we got to the floor and I couldn't see the snow anymore, my practice improved significantly.  Maybe it's the pride in my standing series, my confidence with the floor postures, or maybe the short naps we get to take between postures, but for some reason, I'm much happier once we hit the floor. Don't get me wrong, the floor series isn't any easier than the standing series, but the short savasanas we take between sets mean I can really put all of my effort into each posture, knowing I'll get to refuel shortly.

Positive Posture: Standing Separate Leg Stretching, Hands to Feet

<--Yeah, it looked like that.

Now that I've been stretching them regularly for three weeks (yay!), my hamstrings have loosened significantly.  At first I wasn't able to get my head to the floor with the widest of stances, but today I brought my feet in by several inches and still managed to graze the floor with my forehead.  It still makes me nervous when Vicki tells me to roll more weight into my toes--what if I pitch forward and fall on my face?  It's happened before!  Yet I've found that the more I lock out my legs and lift my hips up, the less danger of embarrassing tumbles.  Hoo-ray.

Negative Posture: Camel

                                                               It did not look like this -->

Oh, this one was disappointing today.  I felt loose and lifted in the spine and really needed the shoulder stretch, but my left knee was giving me a hard time.  I already have a tender left knee, but I can usually get through the series just fine.  I don't know if the snow made it ache or if I was just sitting on the wrong part of the bone, but it was acutely painful to lean my hips forward in Camel today.  Vicki suggested that if I have this problem again, I can roll up my towel and use it as padding.  I'll keep that in mind should my knee again decide to be uppity.

Week 3, finished!  Vinyasa with Kate tomorrow.

-Allie

Lunar Sunday

In honor of yesterday's Super Moon, Kate themed today's class around lunar salutations and a feminine, receiving, lunar energy.  It fit perfectly into a Yin/Yang class, but was little bit ironic since today was the first time in a while I was able to convince Hubby to come with me to class. 

He really didn't like the Bikram series.  Since his hamstrings and hips basically make mine look like jelly and the Bikram series requires loose, strong hamstrings, I can completely understand.  I thought he might like Yin/Yang better because it's less intense, but he still had a tough time.  Part of the problem was that he doesn't have a lot of experience with the yoga poses and flows, so it took him a little while to catch on. 

He sure was a trooper, though, and did not give up or leave the room the entire time, despite feeling tight, sweaty, and humbled.  He rolled his eyes at most of the talk about tapping into lunar energy (always the sensitive one, my husband), but I think once he figured Downward-Facing Dog, he was much more confident and enjoyed himself (a little bit).  I asked him later how he did and what he liked best.  Turns out the only pose he actually liked was Shoulder Stand because it didn't require hip/hamstring flexibility and he felt like he was doing it right.  He then added, "I will say this for yoga, it makes me smellier than anything else."  Delicious.  Thanks, Honey.  We'll see if I'm able to bring him back again...

I, however, enjoyed the entire class.  It was just enough to get my heart rate going, but plenty relaxing for a Sunday morning.  The lunar salutations were really cool.  I'd never done one before and it was nice to try something different and tap into a more passive, female energy than I do in other classes.  I am that athletic, overachiever crazy person who needs the gentle reminder that it's okay to take it slow and smell the proverbial roses throughout my practice.  I tend to shoot right into my fullest expression of postures and don't take stock of how each micro-movement feels.  I miss my body's signals and don't always give it what it wants.  Today's class was methodical and attentive and exactly what I needed.  There weren't any poses that struck me as especially good or especially bad today--they all informed and built my practice in their own way.  Thank you Kate for a lovely class this morning. 

Bikram Yoga tomorrow

-Allie

Inches

Tough practice today.  Like I've said in previous posts, morning classes are much more challenging for me because I haven't spent as much time up and about, loosening up my muscles.  My hamstrings and obliques are the biggest trouble spots. 

So my first set of half moon was very uncomfortable and Vicki held us in that posture for what seems like forever.  It could just be my perception (since I hate them), but the first sets of half moon and standing head to knee seem interminable.  I keep thinking "are we done yet?  Are we done yet?," which is completely unproductive.  I really should be focusing on breathing and getting deeper/more comfortable with the posture. They both come early in the series and I haven't had much of a chance to focus my attention yet, at least that's my excuse. ;-)

My hamstrings sure made their presence known in the balancing series.  Since we did the photo shoot last weekend, I've been trying to get deeper into poses like standing bow, but as soon as I would kick my leg up higher this morning, my standing hamstring would tug back and I would fall over.  And then I would get frustrated by how poorly I was doing in this pose and, subsequently, balance even worse.  It's a vicious cycle that will try to avoid next time.  Just drop my story and do it! 

However, despite my protesting hamstrings, I did quite well in the second set of standing head to knee today.  I got my forehead to my knee on both sides for a good 2-3 seconds.  Next time I'll shoot for 4-5!  frustrated by how poorly I was doing in this pose and, subsequently, balance even worse.  It's a vicious cycleI'll be more warmed up and ready to progress on Monday!

Positive Pose: Toestand

I think this is the one posture in which I am consistently seeing progress with each practice.  I am balancing and meeting my gaze for an extended period nearly every time!  Like in Awkward Pose, the trick is to engage your core.  If you pull the balance out of your toe and into your stomach, it's much, much easier!!

Struggle Pose: Standing Bow

Ugh, as I get better at Standing Head to Knee, I get worse at this one.  I think I must be developing some kind of mental block against it.  Next time, with loose, wide awake hamstrings, I will do better.  If I keep telling myself this, maybe it'll actually happen.  Does this kind of thing really work?  At least my feet (and calves) aren't cramping up anymore.  That's a blessing.

Other progress: I weighed myself this morning and was dismayed to find that I am right back up to starting weight.  Sad.  I told my Hubby about this and he told me to go measure myself because I'd probably lost inches, if not any pounds. "You have too many muscles," he said.  So I took his advice and broke out the tape measure--I am down a total of 2"!  I lost 1" from my hips and 0.5" from each thigh!  So I might weigh more than I would like to, but the gun show I'm carrying isn't exactly light! I'm strangely okay with this...

Yin/Yang yoga with Kate tomorrow!

-Allie

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

So I didn't set foot in a bar today or bake anything Irish.  In fact, I had leftover tortellini for dinner.  I'm not really Irish, anyway, so I didn't feel the least bit bad about spending the evening with Hart Yoga.

I wasn't really feeling yoga today.  I was tired and very ready to just go home.  But I mustered my determination and went anyway.  I immediately felt better when I walked into the tropical temperature of the studio.

And boy was it hot today! I was already dripping sweat by the end of the first breathing exercise.  The heat basically turned me into cooked spaghetti, which was great for flexibility and not so great for stability.  Part of the stability problem was fatigue.  This was my 4th class in a row and I was definitely feeling the strain.  However, I am pleased to report that I had much more energy at the start of class than I did the last time I did 4 classes in a row.  I was able to do some poses well, at least.  My stamina is building, if slowly.

Positive Pose: Full Locust

Yesterday I had a great standing series and struggled through the floor series, but today it was the opposite.  My noodle-y back rocked the floor series.  I think I had the most lifted Full Locust I've ever had!  As Jenn would say, I dropped my story and fatigue and just did it.  I was that 747 ready to take flight into the mirror.



Struggle Pose: Standing Bow
My standing series was (literally) a hot mess tonight.  I got really, really deep into the poses, especially standing bow, but could not hold them for very long.  My standing just did not want to lock out.  I think I spent more time trying to reset the posture than I did actually in it.  It sure wasn't for lack of trying, but I would kick my leg up, reach forward, and immediately lurch to one side.  Frustrating.  Next time, after a rest day, this pose will be mine.  At least I can take pride that I finished class stronger than I started.

Friday rest day tomorrow, then Bikram again on Saturday.

-Allie

Make up Wednesday

Oh dear, 7pm is just too late for me.  I'm glad it works well with others' schedules, but it sure doesn't work with mine.  If I'm not fed--or on my way to being fed--by 7pm, I turn into Cranky Allie and nobody wants to see that.  Vicki might tell Cranky Allie to bend to the right into half moon and she would say "No!  I don't wanna!"  Or, even worse, Cranky Allie might actually escalate the ongoing turf war over parking spaces with the karate people next door.

Since I got out of work around 5:15, I thought that in order to avoid the above scenarios, it might be a good idea to get a small dinner.  I got myself a small grilled chicken sandwich and enjoyed it while working on a sock and waiting for Hart Yoga to open.  The immediate result was that I was wide awake, ready to work, and, most importantly, not hungry.  The eventual result was not so positive.

Little did I know that while I was doing so well in the standing series, this sandwich was slowly making its way toward my stomach, eager to sabotage my efforts on the floor.  I felt everything.  Most of the spine strengthening series was a test of wills between me and that sandwich.  It billowed and gurgled as I lay on my stomach, sending nausea throughout my system.  It urged me, "You don't like locust anyway.  If it's too uncomfortable, just sit this one out."

I told it, "No, you're not so bad.  I know I can do this."

Sandwich oozed and shifted and replied, "C'mooon *burble* It's just one posture.  Give up just a little bit."

Unwilling to yield to Sandwich's demands, I powered through the whole spine strengthening series.  I centered my attention on my breath and alignment and not on the evil entree in my stomach.  I did not puke, even with my forearms pressed unmercilessly into my stomach.  In fact, my determination increased with each posture so much that my Floor Bow was quite possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  That is, until Vicki told us to set up Fixed Firm and I could get off my stomach again.

If I come to the 7pm class again, I need to remember to either eat earlier or eat lighter and drink plenty of water.  No yoga class is much fun with a bellyful of maniacal foodstuffs.

More Bikram tomorrow!

Halfway There

It's day 15 of my challenge.  I'm halfway done and feeling great!

Today's class was Vinyasa with Kate--an hour and a half of a very physical form of meditation.  With Bikram, since you repeat the same 26 postures every class and hold them for extended periods of time, you notice even the most minute progress and can set very specific goals (see my Previous Post).  Through repetition, the magic is forced to rise.

However, with Vinyasa, the postures change and flow into each other organically with your breath.  The series can change with each class, with each instructor's whim.  Since you can't anticipate your next move, you have to focus and be present in your body.  It is not at all an easy style and each posture requires your full attention to maintain both your alignment and calm your breath.  You forget your day, forget your future plans and just breathe.  There is no room for any other thoughts. 

 Positive Pose: Bird of Paradise

Okay, so I know I'm not doing this pose exactly right.  I need to work to get my lower back unhunched and my raised leg straighter, but man does it look cool, even in my not-quite-there expression.  It's also an amazing stretch up through the standing leg and through the raised one.  We spent a lot of time on loosening hamstrings today--something I definitely needed.

Struggle Pose: Standing Split

I hate this one.  I've never been able to do it in a way that even resembles well.  It almost always comes at the end of practice, when my legs are already tired and the last thing I want to do is balance and bend forward at the same time.  Boo.  There must be something I'm doing wrong because I feel like it shouldn't be as difficult as I'm making it.


After yesterday's successful class, I was left with some very sore quads.  Many of today's standing postures were pretty challenging, but I was able to work through them, at least until the end of practice, when most of the muscles in my legs started cramping up.  Drinking water should probably help with this for next time.  It sure felt great to spend 90 solid minutes focusing on me and my body, away from busy, negative things.

Make-up Wednesday class tomorrow.

-Allie

A Pleasant Surprise

After my rather pathetic stint on the couch yesterday, I did not have high hopes for today's practice.  I was still feeling a little dizzy and nauseated throughout today (but there's a good chance that was because it was Monday, back to work.  Boo).  I warned Vicki ahead of time that I wasn't feeling my best and might have to sit down a few times.  I was ready to heed my limitations and listen to my body to hasten a speedy recovery.

Turns out, what my body had to say was "Go for it!"  If last time was my best practice ever, today's was even better!  I relished the heat and humidity, sweating out all the nasty toxins, and daring to push myself further than ever before--literally the case with Half Moon today. 

In Toe Stand, I was able to meet my own gaze and hold it for several MORE seconds than last time.  Standing Bow felt great, the fullest expression of Hands to Feet was almost instantly within my grasp, and I feel like I finally figured out how Balancing Stick works.  I had been struggling with rotating my kicking hip down.  Conclusion: grounding down through your standing big toe builds for a wider, more balanced base and extending your kicking leg further behind you as hard as you can makes your whole body tighter, lighter, and easier to balance.  Hurray!

Positive Pose: Standing Head to Knee

Yes, all of the previously mentioned postures could be considered my "positive pose" for the night, but Standing Head to Knee gets special mention tonight because I dropped my head to my left knee and maintained my balance for several seconds.  Oh, yeah.  Goal 1 accomplished.  Now that I know I can do it, I have no doubt that I'll be able to do it again and on the other side: psychological barrier breached.  Bring it on Standing Head to Knee! I've got your number now.

Yes, I looked that graceful and composed.  At least in my head.




Struggle Pose: Triangle
Don't get me wrong, I got to the fullest expression, but this posture comes at the end of the standing series and I was a touch dizzy and winded.  Nothing to cause alarm or cause me to sit down, but I had a more difficult time with this posture than others today.  I must have been overly excited by my success with prior poses or something. :) 

No, my (slightly) weakened body was letting me know that I didn't have a much stamina left in the standing series.  Fortunately, there are only two more gentler standing postures after triangle and with extra attention paid to breathing--making sure I was getting enough oxygen--I finished triangle without any major problems. There's a fine line between knowing when to quit and rallying to finish strong.   I mean, I am awesome, after all.

So I've now finished Week 2, almost halfway done with my challenge.  Because of Sunday's day off, I only managed to get 4 classes in this week, which means I'll have to fit in 6 this week.  I'll have to squeeze a Wednesday class in to my regular schedule this week.

Some changes I've noticed since I started: I am getting sweatier.  As my body gets used to regular exposure to the tropical Bikram climate, it gets used to regulating its own temperature and as a result, I notice more sweat dribbling off my nose, elbows, and everywhere else.  I believe this is also precipitating another change--I have clearer skin now than when I started.  Makes sense that as I sweat away all my toxins, fewer of them show up on my skin.  Hurray!

Vinyasa Yoga with Kate tomorrow!

-Allie

Sick Day

I will not be going to Yin/Yang yoga today.  :(  I must have eaten something yesterday that didn't agree with me because I woke up with an nausea several times during the night.  I never actually got sick, but the last episode found me on the bathroom floor, practicing meditative breathing to keep my nausea down to a managable level.

I am feeling a little better this morning, but standing and walking around our apartment still makes me feel pretty rotten.  Rather than push it with yoga this morning, even gentler yoga, I'll spend the day on the couch with my furry nursemaids and hope that by tomorrow I'll make a full recovery.

So sorry, Kate!  I'll see you Tuesday!

-Allie

Saturday Photo Shoot

I had a pretty good practice today.  I started slowly--everything's a little tighter in the morning--but by the end of half moon, it was as good a practice as any evening class.    Then Mel and I stayed for a while after class to take some "before" photos, even though this is getting closer to the half-way point for me.  Still plenty of room for improvement, though:

Half Moon: if I smile, I might (eventually) convince myself  that I like it?

Standing Bow: My balance is getting much, much better.  My feet are getting used to holding the pose and my standing leg is getting stronger.  I honestly thought I had been getting my kicking leg higher than this, but this just means I've got somewhere to go with it, right?  Still makes for a pretty picture :)

Triangle: Look how pretty!

Locust: This is completely the opposite of Standing Bow--I had no idea I was getting my legs up that high!  I know this pose is difficult and uncomfortable, but I promise you it works.  As an avid knitter and an office employee, I am prone to thumb cramping and wrist discomfort.  After doing this pose regularly for just 12 days now, I can already knit longer and with less discomfort.  As Bikram would say, 90 minutes of pain is much better than 90 years!

Camel: this was my struggle pose today.  I got into it just fine, but immediately felt dizzy and nauseous.  I couldn't go as far as usual, but didn't whip out of it--stayed where I was, focused my eyes, and breathed.  Unlike my triangle, this posture feels different every time.  Some days it feels great and on others, it can be a trial.  It sure feels great later with wide open lungs.

Spinal Twist: I love this one.  It feels so good at the end of the practice, squeezing all the remaining toxins from your spine.  Ahhhh.

We didn't take any pictures of standing forehead to knee because, well, I can't hold it anyway.  You'd get pictures of me falling down.  What's the sense in a "before" shot if I can't hold the pose for more than 0.75961 seconds.  If I reach my goal, I'll take some "after" pictures for you :)

Today's Embarrassing Moment: I forgot the difference between my right and left sides today during Balancing Stick.  I accidentally started on my left side and then wondered why it felt familiar when I was back on my left side.  Oops, silly me.  I just did two sets on the right side in the second part and all was well again, if a touch embarrassing.

Yin/Yang yoga with Kate tomorrow!

-Allie

Day 10: Progress!

I must have had a productive day of rest because I had an excellent practice today!  I noticed improvement in every single pose today--still not at the fullest expression of most of the postures, but I'm getting there, albeit slowly.  I am awesome.

Also, I'm down 1.5lbs!  And it's only been 10 days!  Yay!  I'll take some halfway measurements this weekend and we'll see if I've made any other progress.

Breathing was a bit of a struggle today.  Initial breathing felt fine, but I think I might have pushed a little too hard in half moon.  I got really, really deep into the pose--to the point where my lungs were compressed and I could not breathe enough to maintain the effort it took to stay that far in the pose.  The compression would have been fine if I were more flexible and didn't need to work so hard to get there. It sure looked pretty, but I didn't have enough self-awareness to back off where it was needed. 

Then I felt like I was playing catch-up for the rest of the standing series, never quite getting enough oxygen to reach my fullest potential.  So, although I saw progress in every posture today, I probably could have seen more had I not pushed so hard in the beginning of my practice.

Next time, if it hurts, I'm going to back off a bit.  Competition, you're getting checked at the door next time.  I don't need your help.

Struggle Pose: Half Moon
See above.  I am going to strike a healthy balance in this pose one day, darn it.

Positive Pose: All of Them!

Man, I felt like a rockstar today.  Why, yes I can kick my leg up higher.  Up one more inch?  No problem!  Special mention goes to Standing Forehead to Knee, when I was able to keep my forehead on my knee for a good two seconds before I fell over (yeah!) and to Toe Stand.  Today, I had both hands up on prayer and met my own gaze in the mirror for several seconds (yeah! x2).



Tomorrow's another day of rest and then hopefully I'll be able to rock Saturday's class as well as I did this one.  My hamstrings will probably try to hold me back, but I'm going to stay optimistic. ;-)

-Allie

Tired Tuesday

Hoo boy, 4 days in a row of kick-you-in-the-butt yoga is NOT easy.  I was dragging even before I got to class, so I did not have high hopes.  I did my best with what strength I had, but I'm looking forward to later weeks when I have more stamina.  I really, really wanted to push and improve--trying head stand would have been cool--but there comes a point when you have to listen to your body and draw back. 

There wasn't any particularly good or bad pose today; it was all a bit of a struggle.  Balancing was especially tough on tired quads and glutes.  You really can't fudge your way through balancing poses.  However, spinal twists and backbends felt really, really good for a tight lower back today.  Next week will be more productive, I can feel it.

Tomorrow is a well-deserved day of rest.  And now that my muscles have turned into jello, I plan to ooze into bed early and get a full night's sleep.

Distractions are a bad, bad thing

Oh, I did not have a good practice today.  Too many things were interfering with my concentration and I let them all prevent me from thoroughly enjoying today's class. 

First, I did not have a good day at work.  Working in a law office can be very demanding and today was definitely one of those days.  Whose business is it, besides mine, how and what I eat?  Not a certain somebody's, I can tell you that.  Ugh.

So then I rush to yoga, hoping for an energetic class to rid me of all the physical and mental toxins I'd built up throughout the day, only to realize that I've forgotten my hair clip.  This meant that those too-long sweaty bangs were flopping in my face the whole time.  It's hard to see your beautiful posture with a face full of gross, sopping hair.  Awesome.

Finally, driven mad by the above, I found my attention wandering to the other people in the room, letting their struggles and wobbling become my own.  The whole balancing series was a nightmare today. 

Fortunately, this story has a happy ending.  It was much easier to focus on what I was doing throughout the standing separate leg stretching postures, when it was more difficult to see anyone but myself.  And by the time we hit the our mats for the floor series, I was more centered and determined to perform well for the remainder of the class, the rough start forgotten and inner peace within my grasp.

Positive Pose: Triangle

This can be a tricky posture, but when you finally reach that deepest expression--hips open, spinal twist, smooth, straight lines--it's immensely gratifying and even beautiful.  Like most people, this was a tough one at first and for a few months after I started, but since I hit the deepest expression once, I've found that I can consistently hit it each practice.  Almost without fail.  Experiences with other postures vary with each class, but no matter how frustrating the rest of my practice has been, triangle is always there to assure me that I do not, in fact, suck at yoga.  I sink my right hip lower, gaze up at my extended thumb and think "ahhh, there it is.  You can do this," and all is right with the world. 


Struggle Pose: Standing Balancing Head to Knee

Yeah, this one was the hardest today.  I think I might have been strong enough to make some progress here today, but no good came of my vision obscured by icky hair and my attention focused on everyone but me.  Lots of falling, lots of frustration.  All I can say is next time HAS to be better....I hope.

Today's moral: a distracted mind can have serious consequences on your practice.  I really must try to leave all frustrations and judgments at the door and keep my focus on my mat and my breathing.  It doesn't matter what everyone else is doing--or not doing.  Focus, focus, focus.

Week One: Done!

Here's hoping for a more productive class tomorrow with Kate

-Allie

Sunday Yin/Yang

Is it spring yet?  I think it's trying to be.  It's warmer and raining and I think the snow is melting a little.  But even though I know warmer sunny days are coming, it's still gray and depressing (and cold!) outside.  What a treat to spend my Sunday morning in a light, heated yoga room with Kate, whose childlike cheer is infectious.  You can resist her if you want, but eventually your grump melts away with your sweat and you leave Yin/Yang yoga with a smile. 

Also, don't be fooled by the gentler, slower tempo of the class.  Your muscles still get an excellent workout from the stretching and extended holds.  It requires almost as much mental as physical strength to stay present in the poses  and to relax where your body's first instinct is to tighten or resist. 

The change in pace is supremely beneficial to competitive types (like me) who want to push hard and be the best at everything, rather than relax and take a more mindful approach to their practice.  I am so grateful to have so many complementary styles of yoga--both in style and pace--available to me.

Positive Pose: Prayer Twist

I can't claim to be doing this pose exactly right.  There are probably several minor adjustments that would make my prayer twist experience better, but man, it felt really good today.  The low lunge stretching through my hip flexor and the spiraling, twisting motion stretching through my back--this was just what the doctor ordered on a gray Sunday for the girl with tight hips.  Ahhhhh.

Struggle Pose: Pigeon

Again, I have rather tight hips.  I can get into this pose just fine and can be comfortable in the stretch for a time, but extended holds, as my body eases deeper into the posture, can get very painful.  It took a lot of mental strength today to remain in the pose and focus on my breathing.  Engaging my breath and drawing my attention to "Inhale, exhale.  Inhale, exhale," kept me from rocketing out of this posture.  It certainly wasn't easy, but I suppose this is the type of physical meditation one seeks in a yoga class.  There just wasn't room for any other thoughts!  My hips sure do feel loose and stretched now, though.

I told Vicki I would bring my camera in tomorrow.  So if you're nice to me, maybe we'll take some "before" pose pictures to compare with some "after" pictures towards the end of my challenge. 

Bikram yoga tomorrow!

-Allie

Happy Saturday

It's about 1:30 Saturday afternoon.  I'm showered and dressed, I've got a load of laundry in the washer, a batch of cookies in the oven, and I've already completed my yoga practice for the day. 

Although it's tough to get enough motivation to attend a Saturday morning yoga class, I really love how I feel once it's done.  I feel energized and satisfied that I don't have to procrastinate my workout for the rest of the day.  What an accomplishment to get all my Saturday goals done before 2pm--with the rest of the day to spend at my leisure!

The other challenge with morning classes is that my body hasn't had the whole day to loosen and become limber.  The stretching poses are a lot more difficult when I've only been up for a couple of hours. Luckily, I had Mr. Humidity to help me out with that today.  I started tight, but the heat and high humidity sure helped me to loosen and get verrry deep into my postures today.

Positive Pose(s): Standing Bow and Floor Bow

You know you've had a good practice when you excel in more than one pose and today was just such a practice.  I think the combination of the humidity and the early hour--since I wasn't quite awake enough to overanalyze anything--meant that I was able to reach and sustain very deep expressions of these two postures:

I've been complaining to Vicki that since I've been slacking on a regular practice, I was gradually getting worse at Standing Bow.  My foot would cramp up, I couldn't lock my knee, my hamstrings were too tight, and any number of miscellaneous excuses for not being able to complete the posture.  Even though today was only my third class in the challenge, I think my feet are already adjusting to balancing again--no cramping and very little falling over today.  I felt like a rockstar in this pose today!

Regarding Floor Bow, I usually do pretty well in this posture.  Well, I get my feet up pretty high, but have to think very hard about rotating my knees back in to keep them from splaying and then I fatigue pretty quickly.  However today's magic combination or humidity and not thinking meant that I was able to keep my legs much straighter for much longer.  Yay!

Struggle Pose: Half Moon

Ouch, this one hurt today :(  After the first breathing exercise, this is the first posture in the series.  By that time, I was still very stiff, especially in the waist, as it turns out.  I was only able to get about half as far down as I usually do and even that was painful.  Here's hoping I'll be looser by Monday evening's class and maybe haz inner peace like Yoga Cat:

 He seems to be enjoying Half Moon more than I was today.

Vicki's been threatening to take come Week 1 vs. Week 4 photos of me in some of these poses, so next time I might have some pictures for you that I didn't just take off Google Images.  

 Maybe. 

Looking forward to Kate's Yin/Yang class tomorrow!

-Allie

An Evening with Mr. Bikram

Hart Yoga had a new instructor tonight.  Well, the recording of one, anyway.  We had a pretty small class tonight, so Vicki decided to do something a little special--we all practiced along with a CD recording of one of Mr. Bikram's Los Angeles classes.  My goodness, what a character!

His 90-minute recording was chock full of Bikram metaphors, yoga philosophies, and a few gems about life in general.  Every spinal stretching posture had some reference to a pearl necklace, hamstring stretches had a lot of sandwich references, and he continually referred to his class as a "torture chamber."  I think hearing him call everyone "sweetheart" was more tortuous than the poses themselves--well, so long as he didn't hold us in them for-ev-er.  However, I do agree that 90 minutes of pain is much, much better than 90 years of pain.  You're very right, Bikram.  And very funny.

My favorite Bikram-ism came towards the end of the floor series, when his ramblings were getting a little more philosophical.  He said that if you let someone make you angry, then it's you who are the loser.  I really should try to keep this in mind for all areas of my life...especially work tomorrow...

Positive Pose: Hands to Feet

Now, I don't have the loosest hamstrings.  I usually struggle with this pose in the beginning and am only able to lock my knees out at the end.  It's sometimes frustrating how long it takes my legs to warm up, but today I was able to lock my legs out almost right away and hold them there throughout the whole time.  Maybe Bikram's yelling was a good motivator?  Who knows, but bravo hamstrings!

Struggle Pose: Balancing Stick

Oof, Bikram held us in this pose for what felt like an eternity!  Vicki warned that his timing was a bit "willy-nilly" and she wasn't kidding!  It didn't help that I didn't really eat enough today and felt mildly dizzy throughout the whole class.  I had to give up towards the end of this one as the blinders started to close in. :( 

Bikram kept saying that if you feel dizzy or nauseas, then good for you, you're getting the full benefit from the class.  I think he's wrong there--you should be exerting yourself, but passing out in yoga is not a good sign.  Moral of the story: fuel your body before yoga class.  Make sure you're not skimping on food or water so you really can get the full benefit.

Class 2: done!

Until Saturday,

-Allie